stellelune:

gracklesong:

enoughtohold:

a lot of people seem to assume that caring about prospective partners’ looks at all means NOT caring about their personalities. i’m here to tell you that’s not true! you can care about both! in fact it’s absolutely, completely normal to care about both. and wanting to be with someone who looks nice to you is not morally impure. it’s fine.

It’s worth noting that a lot of people (especially girls and young women) are pressured into relationships with people they’re not attracted to because they’re afraid of looking shallow, and are made to feel guilty for not giving the other person a chance. Dating for “personality” only is portrayed as more virtuous than caring about looks or other apparently superficial qualities, but it can and is used to manipulate inexperienced people into enduring unhappy relationships. It is impossible to know the full nature of someone’s personality until you’ve spent a lot of time around them on a variety of circumstances anyway! It is okay to reject a date for shallow reasons, because you do not owe anyone a trial period. You are not a bad person for turning down an opportunity that does not actually excite you.

I took a really long time to figure out I was a lesbian, even though I wasn’t attracted to men at all, because I thought that just meant I was a better person for not being shallow.