givemeadecentusername:

gayahithwen:

treasures-and-beauty:

jeneelestrange:

So I stumbled onto the Etsy shop of this academic who–in real life–is an expert on cuneiform–and on the side, makes little trinkets with Sumerian on them and OH MAN THIS SHOP HAS MADE MY ENTIRE WEEK

For the price of about thirty bucks, you too can have a clay necklace that says “Like a farting butt, the mouth brings forth too many words” in the oldest written language on earth
https://www.etsy.com/listing/537034173/choose-your-words-carefully-like-a?ref=shop_home_active_23

Or a necklace that declares “I have ferocious features that exude sexiness”
https://www.etsy.com/listing/540406774/i-have-ferocious-features-that-exude?ref=shop_home_active_54

Or be the ultimate hipster and anti-capitalist before capitalism even existed with “Wanting more riches when already wealthy offends the gods” 
https://www.etsy.com/listing/543598245/wanting-more-riches-when-already-wealthy?ref=shop_home_active_6

Sumerian erotic poetry? Got it. Sumerian drinking songs? Yep. A little something for everyone on your Akitu gift list.

I Have Ferocious Features That Exude Sexiness Pendant (now on sale)

Yes, these are very cool, but what I really need is some way to get back at this copper merchant who sold me sub-standard product and was rude to my servant.

To
Ea-Nasir 

I’ve reported you to the metal worker’s union and have filed a complaint in small claims court. I and my servant have also filed complaints with the EEOC. May you rot in
Irkalla.

No love (With abject hate TBH),

Nanni 

(probably)