So my family got this Labradoodle puppy when I was not quite thirteen – I was a huge animal lover and I’d begged and begged for years, but to no avail. (My mother was allergic, but I later found out a different reason – I was autistic, and my neurotypical parents thought that if I didn’t have a pet to escape to, I would be lonely enough to socialize with other kids. I had a guinea pig when I was ten, but apart from her, just goldfish.)
Turned out that this dog? Total food thief. Here’s a list of the things that I’ve heard of or caught her eating over the close-to-fourteen years my family has had her. Keep in mind that this probably isn’t even close to all of it.
- Ten doughnuts (my dad got mad at me because I wasn’t watching her, even though HE was the one who stupidly left them out)
- Multiple batches of cookies
- An entire pizza
- Paper (and I know because I PULLED IT OUT OF HER BUTT)
- Beef jerky, with plastic bags
- Chocolate bundt cake
- Two sticks of wrapped butter
- Uncooked pizza dough (my mom took her to the vet, where they pumped her stomach to prevent bloating, and she ended up CHEWING THROUGH FOUR IVs, ONE OF THEM WITH A CONE ON)
- Bits of stuff off a toaster-oven tray
- Anything and everything that falls on the floor
- Ice cubes
- Grass (keep in mind that this is the only thing she’s eaten that makes her sick. She is THAT BIG!)
This dog is a hoot, but we’ve had to adjust where we keep our food. And then I moved away and got cats…
XD
Death By Catchphrase 