I love this so much.
My little rebel sun sneaking out of the museum when Larry wasn’t looking just so he can explore and eat food that’s bad for him and probably also go to parties with Nicky once or twice.
Like I don’t know what’s open in New York late at night but I imagine what ever is Ahk’s been there at least once, keeps anything he finds hidden in the back of his tomb so no one finds it.
Ahk would make a lot of weird friends too with other people who are out that late, he spends so much times at the McDonalds they offer him a job but he refuses it saying “I can’t be out after the sun comes up.” (The staff low key thinks he’s a vampire after that).
And like Larry would be so clueless about the whole thing, like for a long time he would genuinely have no idea Ahk has ever left the museum even as the other exhibits start to figure it out. (Jed and Octavius once convince Ahk to take them with him to McDonalds. The late night staff don’t even question them because honestly weird shit always happens around Ahk. That McDonalds has seen it all, even though Ahkmenrah mysteriously never ends up on camera).
Anyways yeah I love this headcannon a lot.
Okay but I just… I really love this idea
Like, logically, I realize he probably had Nicky get him some clothes, or stole them from Larry, but like….
My first image was just some poor cashier, working the graveyard shift at McDonalds
And then a dude decked out in full egyptian pharaoh gear walks through the door. Looking around at absolutely everything with a sense of wonder and vague confusion
He asks weird questions that make no sense, he has a nice but out-of-place british accent, and he’s also quite handsome. He makes weirdly dark jokes, but also giggles when someone makes a pun. He always pays in cash, and he doesn’t give his name. But he’s… really weird.
They end up befriending him and stuff, and he keeps coming in, buying a different thing off the menu each time because apparently he wants to try everything and he’s actually surprisingly helpful and polite, despite seeming perpetually confused at everything modern.
The cashier thinks he’s a method actor. The cook thinks he might be like, some guy that was cyro-frozen or something (”Like Captain America!”). The manager insists that he’s a vampire. One regular 3 a.m. customer swears up-and-down that he’s escaped from a mental asylum.
And when someone finally gets the nerve to ask, he looks them dead in the eye and says,
I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the four kings and ruler of the land of my fathers.
And he’s completely serious. Just. Dead serious.
And they’re like….. what
They might look it up. Maybe they even go the museum (”nah dude he can’t really be that guy, he’s mummified in a museum just down the road”).
Maybe at some point Larry figures it out and they just see this guy (Ahkmenrah, apparently?) walk in like always, clutching a small wad of cash and already scanning the menu, and then a fuCKIGN SECURITY GUARD BURSTS IN LIKE “WHERE ARE YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT”
Yeah that’s fun for larry to try and explain (”uh….this is my cousin!! he.. enjoys LARPing!” “larry, what is larpi-?” “shut up”)
And then one day he comes in with an actual monkey on his shoulder. And they’re just like You know what? McWhatever. He buys it a BigMac.
And then another day he comes in with two tiny men on his shoulders, who are bickering loudly over whether they’re going to share a McChicken or a McDouble. And they’re like. What the actual McFuck.
And one of the cashiers is like “Wait aren’t they from the diorama exhibit in the museum??”
And suddenly this random mixture of tired college students and underpaid young adults have to process that the exhibits of the museum down the road come down occasionally for shitty food.
and just
I love this
AHAHAHAHA YES THIS!
Death By Catchphrase 