emilyparagraph:

emilyparagraph:

have you ever thought about how many small things we take for granted that the exhibits would be totally hyped over? like

• ahk freaking out over a fridge or a freezer i mean, larry DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN PRESERVE YOUR FOOD AND HAVE ICE ALL YEAR LONG?
• wea using the microwave whenever she gets a chance because OMG YOU CAN REHEAT HOT DISHES AFTER THEY GO COLD WTF
• atilla purposefully spilling shit because THEN HE GETS TO RIP OFF ONE OF THOSE DISPOSABLE TOWELS MADE OF PAPER FROM THE MAIN ROLL
• teddy tivo-ing everything because BACK IN MY DAY WE CONSIDERED MOVIES A PASSING FAD LOOK AT IT NOW
• lancelot like PEOPLE HAVE ENOUGH LEISURE TIME THAT THEY CAN PRETEND TO BE KNIGHTS
• octavius rifling through spice catalogues because WTF THESE ARE SO CHEAP AND I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THIS ONE OVER HERE
• jedediah looking at the automatic flush toilets, faucets, soap dispensers and hand dryers like THIS IS SO FREAKIN CONVENIENT
• and of course all of them poking around the internet absolutely fascinated with google and project gutenberg and HOW THE FUCK DO YOU REMEMBER ALL THIS LARRY THERE IS SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE AVAILABLE RIGHT AT YOUR FINGERTIPS

i mean they dont make horrifically big deals out of it every night but they’re impressed and fascinated nonetheless because holy shit the future is awesome

#al and nippy too  #c’mon

okay so

• nippy playing with can openers and begging for an electric can opener bc CANS WERE INVENTED UNDER MY REGIME BUT WE FORGOT TO INVENT SOMETHING TO OPEN THEM EASILY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
• al especially taking a liking to texting cause HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT DO YOU NOW HOW MANY HEADACHES THIS WOULD HAVE SAVED ME?
• amelia adoring NASA bc WTF DO YOU THINK SHE’D NOT ENJOY ABOUT IT?!
• kahmunrah adoring oscillating fans bc ITS REALLY HARD TO KEEP YOUR DIGNITY WHEN YOU’RE SWEATING FROM THE DESERT HEAT I HAVE AN IMAGE TO KEEP UP (ALSO MY VOICE SOUNDS FUNNY WHEN I SPEAK INTO IT)
• custer always asking for hair dye because MY HAIR IS GORGEOUS BUT I CAN MAKE IT EVEN MORE GORGEOUS WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT RAINBOW TIPS?
• ivan trying to steal kindles bc YOU CAN CARRY LIKE 2000 BOOKS AT ONCE