Okay but now I want a story about Miss Honey teaching DADA
wait now I want a story about Matilda teaching DADA
“Do you know what the first defence spell I ever learned was?” The new professor has her hair pinned up in a bun, but loosely. A friendly kind of bun. The kind you might have with tea.
“Was it obliviate?” one of the Gryffindors muttered, to general tittering. Everyone heard stories about poor old Lockhart.
Professor Wormwood smiled. Some of the Slytherins noticed that although it was a kind smile, it wasn’t particularly a NICE one. They sat straighter in their seats.
“It was not,” said the professor. “It was Wingardium Leviosa.”
Everyone also heard stories about Harry Potter’s time at Hogwarts, of course. A Hufflepuff waved their hand about. “Did you use it on a club and make a troll fall down?”
“Your opponent?”
“A curtain to cover their eyes?”
“Poison to slip in their drink?”
Professor Wormwood’s eyebrows inched upward with every guess, and the corners of her mouth trembled a little as though she wanted to laugh. “None of those, no. In fact, I used it on a piece of chalk.”
“Did you–”
“No physical harm was done,” Professor Wormwood said firmly. “In fact, much was prevented. No, I simply write a message. The lesson to be learned, my students, is that the art of defense is not confined to clumsily aiming works at one another in the hopes that someone will eventually fall down. That is the very last resort. First I will teach you how to avoid being attacked at all, and then to divert potential attacks with the power of the mind, and ONLY THEN, my young savages, will you learn about how to duel with spells of violence.”
I want to use this opportunity to discuss how Sasha Grey is a victim/survivor of sex trafficking.
Now an ex porn star, Grey says that she was lured into porn by her abusive ex-boyfriend. Her ex had told her he was a CIA spy and had abused her physically and sexually starting when she was 16 and he was 29. So not only was she a victim/survivor of sex trafficking and pimping, but of CHILD sex trafficking and sexual violence against children.
The ex’s name is Ian Cinnamon, and Grey broke up with him in 2012 and quit porn. She has since gotten a court restraining order against him due to continuous harassment, including him sending her pictures of himself holding handguns.
So, liberal feminists can stop using Sasha Grey (her real name is Marina Hantzis) as justification for supporting the porn industry as somehow “empowering for women”. Stop pretending that rape, coercion, and other forms of violence don’t regularly occur in this industry. Stop getting off to it. Stop getting off to women being raped. Rape & porn culture needs to die. Violence against women needs to stop.
That’s devastating what happened to her. It’s pretty obvious she was brainwashed into the porn industry and made to believe it was “empowering.” If you watch her on the Tyra show when she was 18, she thought getting beaten up was “sex positive.” She was clearly abused and manipulated at a young age.
You know, as much as I do love Hagrid sometimes I lay back and I think about how he bought Multiple Large Magical Creatures with a tendency to lash out when offended to a group of cocky 13 year old children when he wouldn’t be able to handle them all, he didn’t hammer in the dangers enough, didn’t keep an eye on them enough, and then proceeded to give the most temptemental and prideful one of the creatures to the child he knows has a tendency to be a little fuck.
And then when that child was injured by this magical creature that, whilst beautiful and helpful to those who know how to handle him, is portentously dangerous when handled wrong ( especially by children seeing it for the literal first time ) it is the child who is in the wrong for going to their father about a very real danger.
What I’m saying is that whilst yes Malfoy is a little shit, in this instance he was well, well within his right to demand something be done about buckbeak who harmed a child.
As a teacher hagrid has a duty of care, he endangered these students by letting them handle potentially dangerous beasts with no prior education or knowledge of them and without any safety precautions.
What I’m saying is, whilst Draco can be a little fuck, in this specific instance he was right to go to an adult about a very real danger after being genuinely hurt and you all treated him like a disgusting person for it.
Gotta concede the point on this. Keep in mind, Draco was TAKING Care of Magical Creatures despite hating the professor (canon says that you can drop classes), so he most likely wanted to do well in the class. And he got attacked by something that could have killed him. He was a little shit, but no child deserves that.
Just because I’m an “unholy abomination” from “the netherworld” who “eats the flesh of the living” doesn’t mean I deserve to be shot at with a crossbow.
…hey Harry Potter fans, we’re all in agreement that Dumbledore brought the Philosopher’s Stone to Hogwarts in Harry’s first year as a test to see whether Voldemort was paying attention and what sort of state he was in, now that Dumbledore’s chosen champion was old enough to hold a wand, right?
Like, Harry learns what magic is and it’s time to start moving towards the full and final destruction of Tom Riddle Junior, so Dumbledore has a chat with his long-time alchemy friend who’s been keeping this thing safe for literally six centuries straight, and ‘borrows’ the easiest source of immortality he can find as bait for a trap to lure Voldemort out into the open so Dumbledore can get the lay of the land to prep for the next seven years. This is canon, right?
Yes, this is canon. In none of the other books is the climactic array of trials set up as a video-game dungeon perfectly tailored to the skillsets of three specific children. Hermione and Ron are drafted into this war quickly.
The Philosopher’s Stone was probably never in Gringott’s to start with (I wonder how many “safely hidden” fakes the Flamels have?). Nicholas & Perenelle spend the rest of the series happily blowing things up in a new lab under fake names.
Death By Catchphrase 