Category: Uncategorized

serenbach86:

deadpoolmarverlousanna:

pettyrevenge:

I make my husband a sandwich everyday for work. Once, I jokingly kissed it to show him that I made it “with love.” But then for some reason it stuck, and that just became the habit. Make sandwich, give it a little smooch, put into baggie. Except when I’m mad at him. Then that sandwich isn’t made with love. It gets no kiss. Yeah, enjoy that sandwich, jerkface. I hope it tastes like despair.

imagine your otp

“Cheer up,” Dwalin said as Thorin poked disconsolately at his sandwich. “Bilbo can’t be that mad at you. He still made you lunch.”

“Yes but -” Thorin broke off, looking somewhere between embarrassed and defiant. “He didn’t make it with love.”

“With love?” Dwalin scoffed, and Thorin glowered at him half-heartedly.

“I can tell,” he said sadly. “It doesn’t taste the same.”

“Didn’t Bilbo kiss it before he put it in the bag?” Dwalin mocked, only for Thorin to shake his head, totally serious.

Dwalin rolled his eyes at his own sandwich, which didn’t look half as good as Bilbo’s one, love or not. “I’m sure the two of you will be back to giving everyone around you cavities before too long,” he assured Thorin with a sigh.

XD XD XD

doctor-tiger-bitch:

barackthehalls:

neonshi:

milafawnkawaiielfgoddessangelic:

truthtellingtime:

Just so everybody knows, the mirror is actually more reliable than the camera. Even though people say “the camera never lies”, it distorts your photographs a little bit. It has to turn a 3d image (you in real life) to a 2d image (a photograph) and consequently skews the proportions a little bit.

Also, “photogenic” is a real thing. Certain faces photograph well and others don’t. It’s all down the angles, proportions and size of your features.

Have you ever seen someone stunning who looks great in professional photographs and not in candids? Yeah, that’s because there’s a huge difference between a professional and an amateur. Professionals know how to minimise the issues cameras have. Lighting, angles and even the distance you are away from the camera plays a part (the amount of distortion varies depending on how close you are).

TL;DR if you think you look great in the mirror but not in the photo, trust the mirror. You look great!

NOT ONLY THAT, but when you look in a mirror, you’re seeing your face in motion, how others would see it. In a photograph, you’re still, and it can make small flaws and the like seem a lot more prominent, despite them being quite minuscule in person.

Also! Also, when you see yourself in the mirror you are looking at you face reverse of how a camera pics it up. No face is perfectly symmetrical so you get so used to seeing a mirrored version of your face that when it’s flipped in a picture you subconsciously notice the tiny differences in your face and thus you think you don’t look right.

I have never felt so relieved and beautiful thank you guys

grrlcookery:

hotmolasses:

fattyatomicmutant:

wivernryder:

The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part.

I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don’t install customer parts.

So I figured if they won’t install customer parts, they’ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle.

So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn’t sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor.

Ho l y

Imma try that last one

I went to my doctor’s office and asked if they had any slots open for that day.  They told me they don’t take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment.

So I pulled out my phone and called the office.  The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say “I’d like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available.”

He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time?

I said “Yep, I’m standing right here.”

He didn’t understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down.

I hung up and said to the original receptionist, “Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes.”

She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms.

I love this

broliloquy:

broliloquy:

korrigantsionnach:

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I’mma put him out of his misery.

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.

hildyj:

I’m sure, like definitely sure, given the haphazard way the hobbit trilogy was put together that the whole “I lost my way twice” line was added at some point while filming on set when someone asked, “is there a reason for Thorin turning so much later than everybody else? I mean, besides giving him a more dignified and heroic entrance than the one in the book?” and everyone just looked at each other and went, “fuck it, let’s just say he couldn’t find the place” and went on their merry way

but like

the fandom has now turned it into a major character trait? entire fan fic plots hinge on the fact that Thorin couldn’t find his way out of an empty potato sack, several pieces of fan arts joke about it, and it’s become this beautifully humanizing part of this tragically doomed dwarf’s personality. And I just love that.

that’s what fan culture is to me: taking bits of the canon and expanding them and gluing them together in new and interesting ways.

and it’s all so beautiful