don’t make other people’s decisions for them. apply for the job you don’t think you’ll get. let them decide if you have the skills they’re looking for. tell that person you like them even though you think they’re out of your league. let them decide if they like you. stop trying to predict and control everything. bring what you have to the table. let the rest go.
So much this.
“oh, they’ll never hire me,” I thought. And then as the deadline for applying approached, I thought, “they can’t hire me if I don’t apply.”
So I applied. Ended up finding the place I needed to be. Who knew it was China?
i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.
anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”
it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.
i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.
for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story.
a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?”
“uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.”
“ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?”
i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?”
to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-”
is just too big a stretch for my suspension of disbelief. Magic, unicorns, childhood trauma manifesting as a physical representation of destruction- that’s all cool.
But don’t try to make me believe that Jude Dumbledore Law wanted to grind on Coleslaw Head up there.
THIS
TEA
I mean, would you rather have that this mayonnaise vampire or would you rather have
him?
i mean, the dewy eyes, the salt and pepper, the slight five o clock shadow, the square jaw, the perfectly manicured eyebrows… and he doesn’t look like he’s going to die at any moment
if i looked like my mustache attended KKK rallies, i’d probably transfigure myself to look like Colin Farrell too
Death By Catchphrase 