I looked in the Seven Nights, Seven Days document and found that I’d written nearly 3700 words of Chapter 3 before I stopped working on it months ago. Yay!
Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??
you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat
You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions
Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse. He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of. But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.
He seduced his way out, naturally.
A true bard
I don’t know a damn thing about D&D but this funny as fuck
I’m having next Wednesday my first professional interview (eeeeek) so I decided to share the research I’m doing. I googled all of this and chose the information I found most important, and organized it. I truly hope it’s helpful for someone out there 🙂
PLAN AND PRACTICE:
always do your homework: learn about the organization, its ideas and story
don’t necessarily memorize responses, but try to have a planned general strategy for answering common interview questions
practice in front of the mirror
be ready to briefly describe related experience
compare your qualifications to what the organization wants from you
COMMON INTERVIEW QUESTIONS:
“What’s your biggest weakness?” Think of a genuine issue you have as well as ways you have managed to work with/around it.
“What’s your biggest strengths?” Stand out from the crowd and don’t be afraid to speak about your strengths in an authentic and compelling way. See if your strengths align with the company’s needs.
“
Why do you want this job?”/ “Why should we hire you?”
Stay focused on why your background makes you an ideal candidate and tell them how you are going to contribute to that department and that company.
“Tell me about yourself.” Don’t tell them your life story, instead discuss what your interests are relating to the job and why your background makes you a great candidate.
“Why did you leave your last job/position/school?” Do not go into details about your dissatisfaction, tell them that while you valued the experience and education you received, you felt that the time had come to seek outo a new opportunity, expand your skills and knowledge, and to find a company with wich you could grow. Try to put a positive spin on things. Be honest if you were fired but don’t trash your previous boss.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Be honest about what your greater aspirations are.
And much much much more (from your behaviour to work experiences, education, interests and motivation or problems and challeges you’ve faced previously), I would encourage you to try to write down some topics for each questions that work for you. Being prepared is everything.
THE DAY OF THE INTERVIEW:
sleep and eat well so you look rested and healthy on the big day
give yourself time to calm down/meditate/relax
don’t noodle around on your phone or electronic device while waiting – it may communicate boredom and frivolousness, maybe stick your notebook/notes
What to wear: normally it’s best to dress neutral, professionally/formal, not overly fashionable or trendy, and brightly colored clothing is bad. Make sure your clothes are neat and wrinkle free, and make sure your image is very clean and neat.
What to bring:if revelant, extra copies of your resume on quality paper, a notepad or professional binder and pen, information you might need to complete an application.
IMPORTANT TIPS:
make eye contact
show courtesy to everyone during the interview, this means everyone from the reception staff to the interviewer herself
smile
have good posture
avoid fidgeting too much or playing with your hair/touching face
have a good handshake
don’t cross your arms over your chest
walk, act, talk with confidence
be comfortable and relaxed
choose the words you say
don’t place stuff on their desk
manage your reactions – facial and body expressions give clues on how you feel: project a positive image
show interest and enthusiasm
show warmth and personality – being personable is about getting the interviewer’s emotional side to like you and believe in you
don’t lie to make it seem like you know something you don’t. You probably won’t fool your interviewer, and admitting to not know something is much more impressive than lying
be honest
keep things simple and short, talk in 30-90 second chunks. Any less and you’re likely to seem unqualified; any more and your interviewer is likely to lose interest in what you’re saying
THINK OF QUESTIONS TO ASK: participating actively during the interview gives a good impression of your level of interest in the job. Most of times it is more adequeate to ask in the end of the interview.
But I feel like you really need to make sure your questions are adequate. Examples:
“What types of training opportunities do you offer?”
“What are the chances for professional growth in this job opportunity?”
“Is there anything else I can provide you with that would be helpful?”
ALWAYS ask the “
When can I expect to hear back from you about the position?” question if
the interviewer does not tell you.
Good questions are open-ended, and thus cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Better questions are behavioral: they ask how things are done or have happened in the past, because current and past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
AFTER THE INTERVIEW:
shake hands with the interviewer – try to invest some feeling into the handshake and pleasantries, even if you think you bombed the interview
hold your head high and keep your cool
your emotions are probably teetering at the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, but try to stay measured
project a cool confidence, not cockiness, and walk out of the interview with your head held high
SOMETHING TO ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND:
when you know in your heart and your gut that you bring to the table something just as valuable as a paycheck and maybe much more – your tremendous experience, intellect and instinct – you’ll carry yourself differently. You won’t trip over your words in an effort to please His Majesty or Her Highness, because you’ll see yourself and the interviewer as equals on a level playing field.
you are valuable and unique. You have something very special in you and you deserve to be given a chance. good luck!
Why bring this up NOW? I guess it’s a slow week on Slate so they thought they’d prime the fandom “well” for more johnlock and TJLC bashing because we clearly haven’t had enough of THAT.
Ohhh boy this article is a good time
“Conan Doyle wasn’t trying to create a homosexual subtext when he wrote
the characters, but he did write a deep and committed friendship, and
Johnlock shippers are not the first people to see something
romantic in that bond, not the first people, to put it in academic
terminology, who have “queered the text.” hahaha yeah okay, sure Jan.
“The BBC Sherlock knew about this history and winked at it. In
the first 15 minutes of the first episode, Holmes and Watson’s landlady
asks if they’ll be sharing a bed. And that was only the start. But
according to the people making and starring in the show, all this is
just subtext. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are platonic. Many fans
disagreed.” I’m pretty sure this is called queerbaiting.
“I want to be clear that there were people who were into Johnlock or TJ/LC
in different ways, who thought of it primarily as a great hope or a fun
idea or a worthy cause, a huge leap forward for gay representation. But
for some TJ/LCers it became an eventuality, not an opinion or a
possibility. Shipping other pairs or doubting the theory, even thinking
it was really clever but probably not going to happen, was denying that
truth, not just one ship among many. For some fans, TJ/LC became too
important to doubt—so they started to attack the doubters, who then
attacked back.” Attacked back?? You mean defend themselves about being called antis just because they don’t believe in moffitss? This article is a wild ride!
Thank you for bringing up all these points @yorkiepug especially the last one! I’m seeing a lot of people conveniently “forget” or minimize the nastiness that happened in the fandom, especially in 2015-2016. That, or they weren’t around for it, or somehow weren’t directly affected by it. It was a shitshow, and drove a LOT of people out of the fandom. It still breaks my heart to think about some of the amazing writers we lost during those years, who left for other fandoms after being harassed, doxxed, threatened, etc. I felt like the podcast also backed off from some of that at the end, actually offering a balanced look at the different factions and experiences amongst a variety of johnlockers. I’m not surprised this article/podcast is getting such a negative reaction in the fandom, but I honestly think it did a decent job of showing many POVs in an overall empathetic and humanizing light, while still addressing the shit that tore the fandom apart WELL BEFORE s4 even aired. And this is coming from someone who wrote meta and theorized and hoped for a johnlock s4 (I mean look at my url) and is still heartbroken by the whole ordeal.
Death By Catchphrase 