those homophobes who are convinced god hates gay ppl are like, talking the biggest pile of shite ever, like… imagine creating the entire universe and then getting your knickers in a twist about who falls in love with who on one planet. like stars are dying and galaxies are colliding and all that good stuff yet you expect me to believe the big man himself is up there pure foamin at the mouth cus two guys started going at it… its just not realistic

God doesn’t seem like the sort of entity to go “whoopsie-doodle!”, either, if you believe that God exists.

A bit of German to describe last night

Letzte Nacht, ich habe im Krankenwagen zum Hospital gehen. Ich war erschrocken, aber der Arzt hat mir helfen.

animatedamerican:

nentuaby:

animatedamerican:

asexualbrittaperry:

ggiornojo:

asexualbrittaperry:

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

NEVER go to a Chinese restaurant run by white people

Sushi and I went to aforesaid place, and have both ended up in the ER over the past two days for gastroenteritis. Not going to give more details than that, except to say OUCH. And I had to get a shot of muscle relaxer in my butt.

small-dragon:

sarcastictrashbag:

Have u ever seen a wet samoyed?

B….bear?

shredsandpatches:

phantomrose96:

Prompt-based fandom events are when you really learn everyone’s colors like you’ll find the people who take the prompt “death” and come up with some smarmy ship-art of character A and character B walking over dead leaves while wearing scarves and drinking hot cider and then you’ll find the people who take the prompt “sunshine” and write how a bright glint of sunshine reflected off the barrel of a gun is the absolute last thing character A sees before taking a bullet to the chest

you can lead a content creator to water but you sure as fuck can’t make him drink

Also sometimes you meet people who do both of these because they’re contrarians 😉

cricketcat9:

pbandjesse:

thebabbagepatch:

curlicuecal:

curlicuecal:

anotheralexandros:

squaliformes:

squaliformes:

(source)

i’d like to point out that when i made this post, all of these comments were at the top, but now if you look at the thread they’ve been replaced by completely different comments

so please, for the love of god, look at the source link this thread is a neverending source of entertainment. people have added so much fucking shit since i made this

I was proctoring an exam for a student today while reading these, and I had to stop because I got to this one and almost fucking died

these are making my day

Okay, this one’s killing me:

These ones got me:

Ooohhh noo I can’t breathe and there are literal tears streaming down my face

Have a very, VERY good laugh people

dave-pen:

me: *doing some german work and sees the word ‘zweifel’ (doubt)*

me: ok but y the word two at the start.

wiktionary:

me: OoooOooOoOoOOooooOOh

voiceofnature:

In the early 1800s a man named Little Jon lived in this so called earth cabin (swe. ‘backstuga’) located in southern Småland, Sweden. An earthen cabin is built partially buried in the ground, in this case there’s three walls of stone and one wall made of wood. In Sweden earthen cabins was common in the forests from the 1600s until the late 1800s Link

beachdeath:

[source]

Oh wow…it’s awesome that he did that, but *CRINGE*