Mr. Mochi cuddles too hard. This is the seventh night in a rown his enthusiasm has resulted in either a blood-drawing wound or a visible bruise. My therapist was worried.
You’re adorable and loving, you fat orange bastard. But you’re going to make someone call protective services.
Update: he tripped me at the top of the stairs and almost fucking killed me. I’m at urgent Care getting my leg x-rayed now.
It’s sprained, also i have a huge bruise on my shoulder.
He did act real guilty and is currently sitting on my foot to make it better.
Octavius may be a general and proud Roman and maybe (most likely) royalty but he’s also the bigGEST DORK Look at him losing it over a cat video and how he’s laughing with his whole body.
Bungo was on his hands and knees, scrubbing away at the parlor hearth, when Belladonna’s voice cut through the quiet behind him. He let out a startled shout and thumped his head on the brick.
“I felt that,” he grumbled, rubbing his scalp as he straightened up to face her.
Without a word, Belladonna reached down to take his hand, and before he could protest that it would ruin her dress, she placed his sooty palm flat against her belly — which, it should be mentioned, was swollen with five months of pregnancy.
Bungo sighed. They had been through this routine all month — Belladonna sneaking up on him when he was reading or cooking or using the bathroom. Each time, she would grab his wrist and ask if he could feel the baby moving.
And each time, Bungo would wait for a kick that never arrived. He would shrug and suggest “maybe next time,” or “perhaps we should get a lock for that door,” and Belladonna would grow ever more frustrated, assuring him that shehad just felt it not ten seconds before, and if he would just wait a little longer…
They had started sitting side by side at the dinner table so he could keep his hand on her belly while they ate, in the hope of catching it unawares. Bungo tried not to be offended that it only seemed to move for its mother.
He expected the current attempt to be no different, but he knelt there patiently nonetheless, feeling nothing but the rise and fall of his wife’s breathing.
And that’s when it happened.
Just as he was about to give up and return to scrubbing, he felt something. It wasn’t what he had expected — not a kick or a shift but a long, rolling vibration against his fingers. He swore he could almost hear it.
“That’s it!” Bungo sprang to his feet and held Belladonna by the shoulders, turning her sleeves just as sooty as her skirt. “I’ve felt it! It’s finally happened!”
Belladonna didn’t say anything, only wrinkled her brow and tilted her mouth as if she were about to cry. Her lip trembled, and Bungo pulled her into his arms, soothingly rubbing soot onto her back.
“I know,” he cooed, tears prickling the corners of his own eyes. “That’s our baby.”
At that, Belladonna burst into sobs. “No, it’s not,” she wailed.
Bungo, thinking he had misheard, pulled away to look at her. “Pardon?”
Her frown was so deep it threatened to pull the rest of her face down with it. “That wasn’t the baby,” she hiccuped. “I missed second breakfast.”
She buried her face in her hands and continued to cry, while Bungo stood blinking, trying to come to terms with the fact that he had just become teary-eyed over his wife’s rumbling stomach.
“Right,” he said at last with a sniff, and patted her on the arm before turning toward the kitchen. “I’ll put the bacon on.”
ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends
I love this idea. We used to do things like this in Improv.
Related game: “THINK ABOUT IT.” You’re given a random topic, and your job is to build it into an epic conspiracy theory, the crazier the better. You end your rant with a serious face and the command that your listeners “Think about it.”
Another related game: Illuninati. Similar to Think About It except you are given 2 completely different topics and you have to connect them to each other in a wild conspiracy rant
Rb to safe an awkward hang out
All of this is gold
i LOVE THESE BUT i HAVE A FRIEND WHO YOU CAN GIVE ANY TOPUC AND HE CAN CONNECT IT TO THE ILLUMINATI AND ITS HONESTLY MY FAVORITE THING
@wikdsushi we gotta do this on the way down for the wedding so I don’t get highway hypnosis.
Death By Catchphrase 