One Christmas Eve I talked about my friend sleeping on the couch when we were kids to try to see Santa, and my young cousin decided HE wanted to sleep on the couch to see Santa, and as he said this to me, my uncle was behind him, desperately signaling at me to somehow dissuade him and I panicked and just looked at him very calmly and said
“it’s too dangerous to try to look at santa.”
“why?”
“well how fast do you think he has to be moving to get all over the world in one night? he’s so fast and full of magic, if you look at santa directly, your eyes burn out.”
Unions are trash. Theyll Destroy a whole company for firing a shitty worker.
unions are the reason you aren’t paid 2.50 an hour with steel beams about to bust ya head open shut up lol
Unions are why you have 5 day, 40 hour full-time work weeks. Unions are why they have to pay you in actual dollars instead of “company credits” that you can only spend at the company-owned stores. Unions are why there are fucking fire exits at your place of work. Unions are why it’s not okay for your supermarket ground beef to be any percentage human.
You think your company pays you out of the goodness of their hearts? Or even out of “market pressure?” The “job market” is a myth perpetuated by the capitalists. Corporations would pay you nothing if they could get away with it. And you argue “oh, but if they paid me nothing I’d just go to another one.” Wrong. Because to maximize profits, they all want to pay you nothing. Corporations exist to maximize profits while reducing risk for investors. It’s part of their entire function to find ways to cut costs as much as possible, and that includes finding ways to pay you nothing.
Unions are your defense against that. You think all a union does is strike? If you pay union dues, a lot of that is spent on lobbyists in various governments reminding your lawmakers that you have rights as a living human being that a corporation should not be able to stomp all over. Unions hire lawyers so that if you’re fired for bullshit reasons, the union can stand up for you against your boss. They’re called unions because workers are uniting to pool resources so that they can stand up to these corporate overlords with more money than God. Unions exist because you might not have the words, resources, or time to fight workplace injustices all by yourself. That’s the whole fucking point.
And if a business shuts down because a union is striking, it’s because the business was abusing people and didn’t deserve to be in business anyway. Don’t make excuses for the corporations. They already have trillions of dollars and a couple million lawyers to do that for themselves. They don’t need your help.
Okay so we all agree that as soon as Gimli and Legolas hit Valinor Galadriel is just tripping over herself to be their #1 fan, but I’d like to posit that she’d have some heavy-hitting backup in the form of Melian “Excuse You I was the First Being to Cross the Interspecies Fucking Line” Queen of Doriath.
Like – I can just see Melian approaching Legolas who is on his LAST nut about people asking stupid questions about his “preferences” and is resolved that if he has to yell at one more person about the use of “naugrim” he’s gonna go Helms Deep on their ass. Anyway, she rolls up and he’s a baby, he doesn’t recognize her, so when she opens her mouth he just looses it, like
“YES I am married to a dwarf. NO it is not a weird fetish thing. NO it is not a phase. YES I KNOW I am the first elf to get with a dwarf and if you have a problem I will FIGHT YOU ABOUT IT”
And Galadriel, just frikken SUMMONED by the perfect fuckery of the moment, just clears her throat, amused as fuck like “Legolas, this is my mentor Melian, Maia of Este and Vana who was once Queen of Doriath” – and he gets that DEEP HORROR face he got when Gandalf told them a Balrog was coming because like – THIS IS A FAIRYTALE QUEEN FROM HIS CHILDHOOD and ALSO the ORIGINAL interspecies love groundbreaker and as he has a quiet melt down Melian just SMIRKS and is like “I’m such a fan.”
Death By Catchphrase 