if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win
all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he’s like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener, merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they’ve gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don’t think i could take him without magic even if he IS old because he’s a very large guy, but maybe
it would be my knuckles against Frodo’s baby soft poet hands, plus i’ve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn’t real so he can’t offer a rebuttal to my claim
you’re absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D:
this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he’s too polite to do that because it’s a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty
for someone who doesn’t want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo……….
OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won’t be fighting your conscience at the same time.
Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He’s no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that’s comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he’s not a fighter.
Also there’s a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn’t enough if a curse by itself).
And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you’ll deserve it, you monster)
Also: if you fight Frodo you’ll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on.
Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir.
So here’s the thing – you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship, which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you’ll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you’ll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh.
So here’s what you do:
You fight Legolas.
The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you’re gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimli, so once the challenge is issued, he’s not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
Anyway.
Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he’s also already convinced you’re weaker than him anyway because you’re not an elf, so he’s gonna go kind of easy on you. And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here’s the key thing:
You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince.
That’s a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener, yeah?
okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
It’s genuinely worrying to me how often white supremacist misogynist dudes have a weird Viking obsession. The Vikings did not agree with you. Stop dragging the Vikings into this.
Right-wingers: We should treat the Muslims like the Vikings did! Me: You mean travel thousands of miles to strike up profitable trade deals with them in their own countries and establish mutually beneficial business arrangements? Right-wingers: Wot?
I hate when men smirk and gloat and say shit like “Women are attracted to powerful men,” like that negates any feminist impulse, like they think that at the heart of all women is this little, mincing girl that wants to be dominated.
I just roll my eyes because, dude. If you ever read the second half of any fucking harlequin novel ever, and saw how the hero always ends up blubbering on his knees and saying shit like “I can’t live without you! You unman me!” you’d realize that being attracted to powerful men is just the first part of a two-step plan.
The second step is to completely fucking annihilate him.
Apparently this is the most important thing I’ll ever say.
*clears throat* Allow me to quote Jayne Ann Krentz:
“In the romance novels … the woman always wins. With courage, intelligence, and gentleness she brings the most dangerous creature on earth, the human male, to his knees. More than that, she forces him to acknowledge her power as a woman.” (“Introduction” from Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women: Romance Writers on the Appeal of Romance.)
The romance hero may start as a total alphahole, but by the end of the novel, as stated above, HE HAS TO CHANGE. He needs to become respectful and treat the heroine as an equal partner, otherwise it won’t work. This is why Elizabeth Bennet refuses Mr Darcy the first time but accepts him later. This is what so many people miss. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post.
Bodies aren’t meant to stay the same. We are supposed to grow and change. We shouldn’t be making people in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, etc feel like they need to strive for the bodies they had in their teens and 20’s. Or making people feel like they “need to get their bodies back” after they have had children. These mindsets aren’t healthy and change is inevitable.
Can us (Central/Western) European/Ashkenazi Jews stop erasing and ignoring the damage, death, and destruction Nazism or general all negative effect brought to Jews outside of Western/Central Europe? Greek’s Jewish community was utterly destroyed, and just-
86% of Greek Jews died in the Holocaust.
60,000-70,000 lives gone like that.
Tunisian, Moroccan, Libyan Jews were put in to concentration camps
4,000 Tunisian Jews were deported many to do intensive labor or European concentration camps. And Germans were preparing to build death camps in Tunisia. 5,000 Libyan Jews were deported to concentration camps.
Algerian Jews lost their jobs, were subjected to quotas, and had to wear a signifying mark
Yugoslavia lost 20,000 of its 68,000 Jews. Nearly 1/3rd of its Jewish population.
In total,10,000 out of the 48,000 Italian Jews were deported to death camps. 7,700 of them perished.
Rome, one of the oldest Jewish communities in the world, was destroyed.
Iraqi Jews experienced the Farhud riots due to pro-Axis/Nazi sentiment killing 180 Jews wounding 240.
They experienced the Farhud progom, that consisted of boycotts, persecution, violence, consfication of property, and almost near expulsion from Iraq.
Leaders in Palestine were encouraging the idea of exiling all Jews from Arab lands, including there own after mass Jewish refugee immigration to their countries.
This is not even to mention that after WW II Nazi propaganda still was believed in MENA countries causing and assisting in the expulsion of MENA Jews from their host country a few years after.
Do not erase the non-central/Western European Jewish narrative. We were not the only ones effected. And all Jews today experience communal/intragenerational trauma due to the Shoah. Yes, even if their isolated Jewish population was not even touched.
Death By Catchphrase 