susurrations:

wetwareproblem:

caitallolovesyou:

uppityfemale:

The President charges his own Secret Service to use his golf carts.

The Secret Service also had to move out of their floors in Trump Tower because they couldn’t afford the lease.

THE PRESIDENT IS MAKING MONEY OFF OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL SECURITY DETAIL.

THEY ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO PROTECT HIM AND HE’S CHARGING THEM AT HIS PRIVATE BUSINESSES TO DO SO.

The Secret Service is almost out of money. Trump spent in one year on travel what Obama spent in eight (not to mention profited off of it). They can’t afford to pay people their people to cover Trump’s huge family as they travel for work and go on vacation every week.

This is corruption.
This is unethical.
This is something we should all be mad as Hell about.

This was actually so insane to me that I figured I HAD to make sure it was real before reblogging it with no sources. It seems to be totally real.

sources: 
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/trumps-clubs-charge-60k-to-rent-carts-to-secret-service-as-agency-runs-out-of-money-2017-08-21
http://www.businessinsider.com/secret-service-trump-tower-rent-command-post-2017-8
(and there are many more if you googlefu, but most of them weren’t sources I particularly like or trust so I’m not linking them here.)

Anyway yes, this is like textbook corruption. This is our tax dollars at work, people! 

This is the entire reason he ran. People laughed at what a shitty businessman he was, but… that’s the thing. He was never a businessman. He has always been a con artist. And this is just the biggest job of them all.

The sole point of the von Clownstick administration is to shovel as much US money as possible into his already-bloated pockets, in exactly the same way that all of those failed businesses shoveled investor money in.

[Image description: “Secret Service has spent $40k of your money for carts at DT golf courses, directly into his checking account, first POTUS to personally pocket our tax dollars for his protection. $40k, directly to him, for golf carts. To protect him. Think about that.” – John Fuselgang]

systlin:

jumpingjacktrash:

cicutadouglasii:

jumpingjacktrash:

roachpatrol:

cicutadouglasii:

cicutadouglasii:

yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.

wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.

america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.

im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon

english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport. 

‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand. 

the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america. 

what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?

english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*

american wizard: six beers

@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best

thank you my patronus is a monster truck

I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.

alexalexalexalex:

meladoodle:

my friend angella was doing a comedy gig, and as soon as she came out a guy shouted ‘can i give you my number?’ and all the crowd groaned cause it was so inappropriate but angella was like ‘yeah sure’. the guy started shouting out his number and she started entering it into her phone. the whole crowd was like woaaah. she got the whole number and then dialled it and it rang. everyone lost their shit. finally the guy answered and angella just said “hello? shut the fuck up” and it was the most incredible thing i’ve ever seen 

So some of these details are probably wrong, it happened a long time ago so I don’t remember the specifics leading up, but it was incredible.

A friend of mine who does stand up was doing his bit at open mic one night, and a guy was heckling him. Just being a total asshole, and then his phone rang and he started talking loudly on his phone about how he’s at open mic and this guy isn’t funny, etc. Now the weird thing about hecklers is that they just want to be a part of something most of the time, so my friend said, “hey man, what’s your name? Can I see your phone for a second?”

The guy actually handed over his phone, and my friend hung up, and scrolled through his contact list until he found the person he was looking for. He hit dial, and starts.

“Hello? Is this [Name’s] mom? Great! It’s very nice to talk to you. I’m a comedian in the middle of my standup routine, and your son is being very rude, [lists off some of the things her son said]…. hold on, can I get you to repeat that?”

He takes the phone away, puts it in speakerphone and holds it up to the mic.

“I said, I’m sorry my son is being such an asshole.”

Everyone lost it. Fuckin’ destroyed by his own mother. My friend said it was one of his proudest moments ever.