*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
This is true for purebred lumberjacks, sure, but in some areas there has been extensive interbreeding, resulting in dad/lumberjack and lesbian/lumberjack hybrids that exhibit traits from both parent species and are often behaviorally unpredictable. Some hardware ecologists are concerned about the potential for these hybrids to outcompete true wild type species.
And if this reaches the 80%, I’ll tell you what idea I’m actually working on~
So, thanks to @martinus-cornelius and @undeniablycandycane (thanks again, guys, like,,,, really) I got motivated, and I decided, that I’ll try to finish this before I’ll probably keep my rest private. Maybe I can even find a way inbetween, but I have to change some things
But first, thanks to that motivation, I worked on it again.
So I reached the
44%
48%!
AND I’M HYPED BECAUSE I NOW GOT THIS GOAL DONE EVEN BEFORE MY HOLIDAYS ENDED???
(Gonna continue now tho)
I’LL REBLOG AGAIN WHEN IT’S AT EXACT 50% GUYS
50% GUYS
I REACHED THE 50%, FINALLY QLFLWLFLWLRL
52%
I’ve never written so much Jedtavius before, lmao
56%
60%!!
I was like, dead… My brain is so tired of school and I can’t disagree, ooof
64%
I’m now a pressure-free girl. And sick. I’m also sick. BUT THAT WON’T STOP MY JEDTAVIUS PROJECT, I SWEAR
68%
I’m literally not even sure how I want to post it, like… I’ll most likely do it on Ao3 but put the link on Tumblr…
This Jedtavius project will be finished soon. But I actually know that it’ll be like “oh god, should I really really post it because maybe it’s embarrassing alxlsldl”
I’m most likely going to drop the post and hide for the whole rest of the day for the time I’ll publish. And I think, because TIME IS RARE, I’ll already tell you what kind of Jedtavius thing-y I’m doing.
So, storytime. It’ll be an advent calendar challenge! I saw it on Ao3 once, buuuuuut – I wanted to do that too. Like, as a real story. They’ll be posted as One Shots but they rely on each other aaaaand – they are at least 1300 words long, mostly more than that.
Since it’s an advent calendar, it’ll be from the 1st till the 25th, including them both. So you’ll get 25 One Shots from me in December. I literally thought I’d only need 24, but you celebrate christmas one day later soooooo
I’m a confused German so if you read something that you don’t know like that PLEASE DON’T HIT ME, THANKS
I LITERALLY HAVE 6 DAYS LEFT TO FINISH EVERYTHING AND I’M AT THE 18TH DECEMBER NOW
One of the most bizarrely cool people I’ve ever met was an oral surgeon who treated me after a ridiculous accident (that’s another story), Dr. Z.
Dr. Z. was, easily, the best and most competent doctor or dentist I’ve ever encountered – and after that accident, I encountered quite a number. He came stunningly highly recommended, had an excellent record, and the most calming bedside manner I’ve ever seen.
That last wasn’t the sweet gentle caretaking sort of manner, which some nurses have but you wouldn’t expect to see in a surgeon. No; when Dr. Z. told me that one of my broken molars was too badly damaged to save, and I (being seventeen and still moderately in shock) broke down crying, he stared at me incredulously and said, in a tone of utter bemusement, “But – I am very good.”
I stopped crying on the spot. In the last twenty-four hours or so of one doctor after another, no one had said anything that reassuring to me. He clearly just knew his own competence so well that the idea of someone being scared anyway was literally incomprehensible to him. What more could I possibly ask for?
(He was right. The procedure was very extended, because the tooth that needed to be removed was in bits, but there was zero pain at any point. And, as he promised, my teeth were so close together that they shifted to fill the gap to where there genuinely is none anymore, it’s just a little easier to floss on that side.)
But Dr. Z.’s insane competence wasn’t just limited to oral surgery.
When I met Dr. Z., he, like most doctors I’ve had, asked me if I was in college, and where, and what I was studying. When I say “math,” most doctors respond with “oh, wow, good for you” or possibly “what do you want to do with that after college?”
Dr. Z. wanted to know what kind of math.
I gave him the thirty-second layman’s summary that I give people who are foolish enough to ask that. He responded with “oh, you mean–” and the correct technical terms. I confirmed that was indeed what I meant (and keep in mind, this was upper-division college math, you don’t take this unless you’re a math major). He asked cogent follow-up questions, and there ensued ten or so minutes of what I’d call “small talk” except for how it was an intensely technical mathematical discussion.
He didn’t, as far as I can tell, have any kind of formal math background. He just … knew stuff.
I was a competitive fencer at this point in time, so when he asked if I had any questions about the surgery that would be necessary, I asked him if I’d be okay to fence while I had my jaw wired shut, or if it would interfere with breathing.
“Fencing?” he said.
“Yes,” I said, “like swordfighting,” because this is another conversation I got to have a lot. (People assume they’ve misheard you, or occasionally they think you mean building fences.)
“Which weapon?”
“Uh. Foil.”
“No, it won’t be safe,” and he went off into an explanation of why.
Turns out, he was also a serious fencer – and, when I mentioned my fencing coach, an old friend of his. (I asked my fencing coach later, and, oh yes, Dr. Z., a good friend of mine, excellent fencer.) (My coach was French. Dr. Z. was Israeli. I never saw Dr. Z. around the club or anything. I have no idea how they knew each other.)
So this was weird enough that later, when I was home, I looked Dr. Z. up on Yelp. His reviews were stellar, of course, but that wasn’t the weird thing.
The weird thing was that the reviews were full of people – professionals in lots of different fields – saying the same thing: I went to Dr. Z. for oral surgery, and he asked me about what I did, and it turned out he knew all about my field and had a competent and educated discussion with me about the obscure technical details of such-and-such.
All sorts of different fields, saying this. Lawyers. Businessmen. Musicians.
As far as I can tell, it’s not that I just happened to be pursuing the two fields he had a serious amateur interest in – he just seemed to be extremely good at literally everything.
I have no explanation for this. Possibly he sold his soul to the devil.
Death By Catchphrase 