Tag: abuse tw

85th:

85th:

the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that

1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;

2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.

i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.

the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.

i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”

eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.

when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.

sexy, he said.

that was all i wanted.

i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.

mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.

let girls be girls.

don’t force womanhood on little girls.

i encourage men to reblog this post

naamahdarling:

ufowiki:

woman: *talks about equality in any way*

men every time: so i can hit you, right? i can beat the absolute shit out of you? it’s equality 🙂

Those guys are so gross.

Like, no, that’s not what we’re saying, but thanks for going straight for the worst place imaginable you absolute goddamn creeps. GFY.

the-fury-of-a-time-lord:

swagintherain:

Catherine wants to make people more aware about how important it is to be aware of these issues.

She knew him for 20 years. He worked as a police officer. 90 days as a punishment is such a pathetic sentence. Total rubbish. this guy is evil and who knows how many victims of his assaults have stayed unknown. What a scums serve in the law enforcement… 

Please share.

oh my god. she is SO brave to share this.

velosarapter:

libertarirynn:

There are a lot of absolute idiots in the comments saying things like “a good dog will never hurt a baby” and “the child is never to blame if the dog attacks” and “special snowflakes call everything abuse”

Listen here you fucktards: dogs. Are not. Fucking. People. They don’t operate by human logic. They don’t follow human moral codes. It has nothing to do with it being a “good dog“ or not. If you were getting hit and pulled on and punched and scratched constantly, you just might react. A dog can’t speak up and say “hey please stop that you’re hurting me“. What he can do is move, lunge, bite, etc. These actions might intentionally or unintentionally harm your child. Use your fucking head and don’t let your kid beat up on your dog no matter how many times he’s “taken it” before; you never know when he might snap. Don’t teach your kids it’s OK to treat animals like punching bags and they’ll never react. That’s immensely unfair to both the animal and the child. You could have a hurt or dead child and a euthanized dog because you were fucking dumbass who thought the dogs were just there to be treated like toys.

Same goes for cats and any other pet. Teach your child how to properly treat animals or don’t have any fucking animals.

When I was younger, one of our dogs, Brew, was pretty old and I loved him. I used to lie with my head on his shoulder and he’d put his head on mine and sleep. I literally loved him so much. But he was an old dog and one day I tripped and stood on his tail. He came up and nipped at me. Caught me in the face.

My mother freaked and I cried but we didn’t call police or anything because he did what comes to dogs naturally. He can’t say “ow, gerroff” so he could only bite. All he did was nip. A little warning. I felt awful and spent the rest of the day stroking him and saying sorry even though I had a bruise above my eye that looked like someone had hit me and sent me flying.

Don’t let your kids climb on your dogs or bother your cats. Your pets aren’t there to be abused for the sake of cuteness. It doesn’t matter if a baby doesn’t understand. If I toddler doesn’t know any better. I made hella sure that my niece’s and nephew didn’t hurt my pets at any age and taught them respect. They’ve been nipped and clawed because of their actions and I told them that.

Respect your pets and teach your kids the same. It’s absolute bullshit that an animal should suffer just because you don’t fucking want to teach kids to respect animals from the beginning.

yousyouk:

chauiee:

Feinstein: You’re a big, powerful man. Why didn’t you [gestures pushing motion]?

Crews: Senator, as a black man in America [sigh]…

Feinstein: Say it as it is. I think it’s important.

Crews: …you only have a few shots at success. You only have a few chances to make yourself a viable member of the community. I’m from Flint, Michigan. I have seen many many young black men who were provoked into violence, and they were imprisoned, or they were killed, and they’re not here. My wife for years prepared me. She said, “If you ever get goaded, if you ever get prodded, if you ever have anyone try to push you into any kind of situation, don’t do it. Don’t be violent.” And she trained me. I’ll be honest with you it was the strength of my wife who trained me and told me, “If this situation happens, let’s leave.” And the training worked because I did not go into my first reaction, I grabbed her hand, we left, but the next day I went right to the agency. I have texts, I have phone conversations, and I said, “This is unacceptable!” And I told them how -you know- I almost got violent, but I didn’t. And I said, “What are you going to do about this predator that you have roaming your hallways?” And -you know- I was told, “We are going to do everything in our power. We are going to handle this Terry. You’re right. It is unacceptable.” And then they disappeared. Nothing happened.

It’s important to also note that she asked this question so that he had the chance to explain on record – her second point is that she believes his reason is important and needs stating. No doubt there are a lot of nasty people asking this question in earnest and allowing him to explain himself in his own words is super important for combating that kind of narrative.

muchymozzarella:

cheonjiwang:

buttcrackvevo:

skinpoweredpant:

toddypalmpie:

wtfantisjws:

wtfantisjws:

Attack on Titan is and always has been imperialist propaganda written by a Nazi supporter. The idea of the walls and their fragility is meant to criticize Japan’s antiwar policy, and the Titans coming back after 100 years is meant to imply that if Japan doesn’t start having wars and breaking down their “walls” and conquering the East again, other countries will come to terrorize the region. What bothers me most having watched the first season of it is the line about “Living like livestock”. It asserts the notion that to live without imperialism is a form of complacency, like somehow the country isn’t living life to its fullest if it isn’t out pillaging and raping the peoples of Korea, Manchuria, Indonesia, the Pacific Islands, etc. I will say that it’s actually really poorly written, so the ideas the writer has don’t come across super strongly, but it’s still seriously dangerous stuff.

Add to that the fact that so many characters have German names and that the setting seems to have a lot of european and specifically German vegetation and architecture becomes obvious that the writer wants viewers to feel nostalgic for the Axis Powers. It’s really infuriating to me as a Jewish person because it’s supporting a political climate under which the genocide of my people could resume even when we just now have the same Jewish population worldwide as we did pre-Holocaust. It’s fucked up and now that people are talking about it coming back for a second season after so long I want to urge you all to please boycott it.

-Stephen

Lol yes! Unfortunately it’s all true! For instance, the character called Dot Pixis is based on general Yoshifuru Akiyama, a famous war criminal during the occupation of Korea who Attack on Titan’s writer, Hajime Isayama, called “frugal and respectable” on his twitter account. Popular character Mikasa Ackerman is named after a warship in the Russo-Japanese war, a war over which power would violently occupy Korea, according to the show’s own damn official guidebook (Which I cannot link to because it’s a book) and wikia page.

In a separate reply to this post, a friend of mine has also noted that the character called Erwin Smith is named after a Nazi called Erwin Rommel who, despite occasionally defying orders he deemed “unjust”, was still a fucking Nazi and still took part in the Holocaust. I did find a source for this albeit not the best one. But it should also be in the official handbook as Outside Kou apparently claims that the origins of characters’ names are in that book.

And if you don’t find it bad enough that these characters are designed to be nods to imperialist/nazi history, then what ought to convince you the show should be boycotted is that it isn’t for shits and giggles. Hajime Isayama actually does support Imperialism. He named and designed those characters as homages to nazis and war criminals for a reason. Not because he thought the names were cool. He actually worships those military institutions. So I’ll say it again. Boycott Attack on Titan.

-Stephen

EDIT: Tumblr is a fucked website, so the reply that was made by user ramen-catholicism saying “Lol no” that prompted me to make this addition is not showing up on my computer as part of this post. Also some links aren’t showing up underlined in the second paragraph so if you want them you have to hover over my words with your cursor to find them… sorry

koutetsujou no kabaneri is a good substitute with less nationalism and much prettier character design overall

While this is sort of a valid interpretation in a purely theoretical (???) sense, and the author seems to be apologetic or denialist of war crimes, which is not acceptable, it’s a pretty heavy accusation to say he advocates going back to imperialism, especially considering Japanese culture. Hayao Miyazaki also got flak for saying Japanese WWII plane engineers were awesome (not a quote), even if he isn’t pro-war. Some Japanese people have a habit of honoring people that did awful shit but had traits that would be virtues in another context, and this seems to be a cultural thing, which may seem baffling, but is not objectively wrong (like war crime denial). The references to historical figures in the manga may not be as apologist as the post makes them out to be when taking this into account.

you know i truly try not to get angry on this hell site but could you honest to god shut your mouth the fuck up because as someone whose country was colonized by japan, those are valid as shit criticisms. the japanese government has refused to compensate the colonized countries, ESPECIALLY the women they kidnapped and sexually enslaved (many of these women are still alive btw), there is still heavy anti-korean, anti-chinese, anti-vietnamese racism present—actually, the whole country is pretty discriminatory towards any non-japanese east/southeast asian people

japanese culture of course presents itself as “nice” and “polite” and rich because the country of japan literally got to where it is by colonizing and exploiting other countries and ravaging them and landing many people into poverty. your insistence that it’s just “a cultural thing” and that japanese people just HAPPEN to be ignorant and MEAN WELL and is fucking infuriating because THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT THEIR PROPAGANDA IS INTENDED TO MAKE YOU THINK. a lot of anime is FULL of propaganda that wouldn’t be apparent to non e/se asians.

also “the wind rises” totally gives off propaganda vibes—the planes were made off the slave labor of chinese and koreans and subsequently used to bomb them but do you ever hear those people mentioned in the film AT ALL lmao horikoshi was not just a nice guy that made a silly mistake

just bringing this back because season 3 will be out in July 🙂 fuck this show

Wanted to bring this back lmao. Japan should never not be reminded of their war crimes just because they make nice things. I don’t make that concession for the USA and I certainly won’t make it for the country of thousands upon thousands of rapists who refuse to pay reparations to their victims.

The youngest living comfort women were 14-17 years old during the war. Raped by a line of Japanese soldiers all day. Just because the word “Japanese soldiers” doesn’t invoke the same hateful reaction as “Nazis” doesn’t mean they weren’t just as bad, and in many different ways, worse.

Violence, Abusers, and Protest

fabulousworkinprogress:

My grandfather was a generally peaceful man. He was a gardener, an EMT, a town selectman, and an all around fantastic person. He would give a friend – or a stranger – the shirt off his back if someone needed it. He also taught me some of the most important lessons I ever learned about violence, and why it needs to exist.

When I was five, my grandfather and grandmother discovered that my rear end and lower back were covered in purple striped bruises and wheals. They asked me why, and I told them that Tom, who was at that time my stepfather, had punished me. I don’t remember what he was punishing me for, but I remember the looks on their faces. 

When my mother and stepfather arrived, my grandmother took my mother into the other room. Then my grandfather took my stepfather into the hallway. He was out of my eye line, but I saw through the crack in the door on the hinge side. He slammed my stepfather against the wall so hard that the sheet rock buckled, and told him in low terms that if he ever touched me again they would never find his body. 

I absolutely believed that he would kill my stepfather, and I also believed that someone in the world thought my safety was worth killing for. 

In the next few years, he gave me a few important tips and pointers for dealing with abusers and bullies. He taught me that if someone is bringing violence to you, give it back to them as harshly as you can so they know that the only response they get is pain. He taught me that guns are used as scare tactics, and if you aren’t willing to accept responsibility for mortally wounding someone, you should never own one. He told me that if I ever had a gun aimed at me, I should accept the possibility of being shot and rush the person, or run away in a zig-zag so they couldn’t pick me off. He taught me how to break someone’s knee, how to hold a knife, and how to tell if someone is holding a gun with intent to kill. He was absolutely right, and he was one of the most peaceful people I’ve ever met. He was never, to my knowledge, violent with anyone who didn’t threaten him or his family. Even those who had, he gave chances to, like my first stepfather. 

When I was fourteen, a friend of mine was stalked by a mutual acquaintance. I was by far younger than anyone else in the social crowd; he was in his mid twenties, and the object of his “affection” was as well. Years before we had a term for “Nice Guy” bullshit, he did it all. He showed up at her house, he noted her comings and goings, he observed who she spent time with, and claimed that her niceness toward him was a sign that they were actually in a relationship.

This came to a head at a LARP event at the old NERO Ware site. He had been following her around, and felt that I was responsible for increased pressure from our mutual friends to leave her alone. He confronted me, her, and a handful of other friends in a private room and demanded that we stop saying nasty things about him. Two of our mutual friends countered and demanded that he leave the woman he was stalking alone. 

Stalker-man threw a punch. Now, he said in the aftermath that he was aiming for the man who had confronted him, but he was looking at me when he did it. He had identified me as the agent of his problems and the person who had “turned everyone against him.” His eyes were on mine when the punch landed. He hit me hard enough to knock me clean off my feet and I slammed my head into a steel bedpost on the way down.

When I shook off the stunned confusion, I saw that two of our friends had tackled him. I learned that one had immediately grabbed him, and the other had rabbit-punched him in the face. I had a black eye around one eyebrow and inner socket, and he was bleeding from his lip. 

At that time in my life, unbeknownst to anyone in the room, I was struggling with the fact that I had been molested repeatedly by someone who my mother had recently broken up with. He was gone, but I felt conflicted and worthless and in pain. I was still struggling, but I knew in that moment that I had a friend in the world who rabbit-punched a man for hitting me, and I felt a little more whole.

Later that year, I was bullied by a girl in my school. She took special joy in tormenting me during class, in attacking me in the hallways, in spreading lies and asserting things about me that were made up. She began following me to my locker, and while I watched the clock tick down, she would wait for me to open it and try to slam my hand in it. She succeeded a few times. I attempted to talk to counselors and teachers. No one did anything. Talking to them made it worse, since they turned and talked to her and she called me a “tattle” for doing it. I followed the system, and it didn’t work. 

I remembered my friend socking someone in the face when he hit me. I recalled what my grandfather had taught me, and decided that the next time she tried, I would make sure it was the last. I slammed the door into her face, then shut her head in the base of my locker, warping the aluminum so badly that my locker no longer worked. She never bothered me again. 

Violence is always a potential answer to a problem. I believe it should be a last answer – everything my grandfather taught me before his death last year had focused on that. He hadn’t built a bully or taught me to seek out violence; he taught me how to respond to it.

I’ve heard a lot of people talk recently about how, after the recent Nazi-punching incident, we are in more danger because they will escalate. That we will now see more violence and be under more threat because of it. I reject that. We are already under threat. We are already being attacked. We are being stripped of our rights, we are seeing our loved ones and our family reduced to “barely human” or equated with monsters because they are different. 

To say that we are at more risk now than we were before a Nazi got punched in the face is to claim that abusers only hurt you if you fight back. Nazis didn’t need a reason to want to hurt people whom they have already called inhuman, base, monsters, thugs, retards, worthless, damaging to the gene pool, and worthy only of being removed from the world. They were already on board. The only difference that comes from fighting back is the intimate knowledge that we will not put up with their shit.

And I’m just fine with that.

star-of-wormwood:

tohadesandback:

theantifeminsimpony:

takashi0:

sir-narwhal:

people who don’t think straight girls fetishize gay men like straight guys do with lesbians clearly have never talked to a superwholock fangirl

Or a Kingdom Hearts Fangirl

Or any fandom

these fucking goblins think teenage girls writing stories about two boys fucking and blushing and giggling over it is equivalent to the porn industrious encouraging corrective rape and the fact that corrective rape actually happens.  

Last I checked straight girls aren’t the one’s murdering gay men either.

A girl/woman doing something wrong gets punished fiercely and unendingly, while a man doing something worse gets brushed aside and excused.