Hello friends! I’m back from Chicago (shoutout to all the cool people at the Chicago Architecture Biennial for inviting me to come ogle neat stuff). I spent the better part of this weekend breaking my brain combing through 5 counties worth of McMansions, just so I could give you the gift of what might be the ugliest collection of homes in existence.
Without further ado:
Monmouth County
THE COLUMN GOING THROUGH THE ROOF is PEAK McMansion craftsmanship. Nothing will ever top that metaphor.
Honestly, when you really think about it, this doesn’t actually look like a house at all. There’s recognizable shapes, or symbols like gables, but the cohesive outline resembles nothing at all – a crazy zig-zaggy shape devoid of symbolic meaning. Anyways, Barthes would probably have a field day here.
Bergen County
Bergen County is awesome – I wrote about it in college when going down I-10 on a Sunday (when everything is closed) – totally surreal and apocalyptic. Good stuff.
told ya
this blog is NSFW now. thanks, New Jersey.
Somerset County
The gray sky makes it. Speaking of skies…
[architecture dork joke: me, calling Peter Eisenman Peter Eisenman: hello? me: everything is your fault.]
Morris County
A perennial favorite of mine. Glad to see that some of the houses I saw when first starting the blog are still for sale.
does anyone else find this house extremely punchable or is it just me?
The windows on this house are more hollow and soulless than whoever thinks Sean Spicer was funny at the Emmy’s. (RELEVANT! I’M RELEVANT!!)
Finally… Hunterdon County, the Richest County in New Jersey
the shutters are more futile than my attempts to not be late.
This house broke me.
Well, that concludes our New Jersey Special!
Stay tuned for an overdue Looking Around this weekend, and next week’s New Mexico McMansion!
If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP – I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!
Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store will go to help victims of Hurricanes Harvey & Irma
Death By Catchphrase 