I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.
I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.
may our education be stronger than fake news
Amen.
To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.
if you read in a frog paper “specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” chances are very good that what it actually means is
“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”
sometimes when i am sad i go read through the tags on this post, because they are 70% other biologists saying things like “AND ALSO FUCK FIELD MICE” and “THAT CRAB ALMOST BROKE MY FINGER” and I am reassured that I am not the only one who has bobbled a wood frog right into their cleavage.
plus six or seven people who just….can’t figure out what a frog paper could possibly be. (guys it’s…a scientific paper. about frogs.)
and this one
which made me laugh despairingly because i mean
bro you don’t even know.
One time I was volunteering at a bird banding station where we put the birds essentially into snowcone cups for measuring and then we sort of flicked the cup to release the bird but my fingers were too loose so I ended up slinging the cup AND the hummingbird like 3ft into the woods
Art Critic: the skull in the corner is artfully placed on the periphery of vision to symbolise the omnipresence of death, important thematically to the artist’s conception of life and mortality.
Actual Artist: aw shit, I got all this negative space, guess I’ll stick a skull there that looks pretty rad.
I painted a copy of Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring for a class in college, and when I displayed it for review the professor was like, “Are you making a statement about materialism by not painting her wearing the actual earring?”
And that, kids, was the first time I ever cursed in front of a teacher.
The painting is called The Girl with the Pearl Earring, and I forgot. To paint. The damned. EARRING.
le mythe, la légende, j’ai nommé: pusheen, dictateur russe (fameux).
i am amazed to see that despite being in my native language this retelling of the story behind me and my friends’ “famous russian dictator pusheen” private joke got popular
Death By Catchphrase 