Farmers in Indonesia introduce fish into their rice fields. The fish excrement acts as a fertilizer for the plants, while the plants attract insects and other pests, which serve as food for the fish. This process increases rice yield by up to 10%.
So I have this clinic patient. He’s you’re typical 20ish year old who we’ll call Johnny. He drives a pickup truck and he lives in the middle of nowhere.
He came into our clinic for a follow up after an ER visit. Why you ask was Johnny in the ER???
Well…
Johnny was driving his truck home from work and hit a raccoon.
Instead of investigating the damage it caused to his truck and going along his way Johnny decided he wanted to make a hat out of Mr. Raccoon. So he put it in the back of his truck and drove home.
(Any guesses where this is going?)
At home Johnny went to the back of his truck to grab the raccoon and guess what. Mr. Raccoon was still alive and NOT very willing to be made into a hat.
Now Johnny is getting his rabies vaccines.
Stories that end in rabies vaccination are always the best stories.
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
included in this order for a large ground beef is a dossier containing information on your target. he is to be neutralized before delivery. do not let him reach the airport. no pepperoni.
Death By Catchphrase 