today i learnt that king tutankhamun made sure that he had a condom with him in his next life. i never want to hear a dude say he didn’t have the time to be prepared or didn’t remember to buy condoms. if king tut had the common decency of making sure someone put a condom in his resting place alongside one of the biggest treasures ever so he could practice safe sex in the afterlife no present day dude has an excuse for not wearing condoms.
here it is
it’s made of animal intestine
and they know it was his because they found residue inside that they were able to DNA-match to him
yes, that kind of residue
My mans Tutankhamun was already busting a nut when Osiris was measuring his soul to go see his ol man Ra like imagine having such guts.
Protip for men: if marriage is a horrifying concept for you and you think it is an evil trap, do not buy a ring and ask a woman to marry you
I’m way over seeing radical feminist bullshit on my dash. This isn’t even social justice or a real issue.
sorry that not marrying someone you dont loathe is radical feminism i guess?
women: don’t propose or get married if u don’t like the thought of marriage
men: what kind of sjw fuckery
the other bit that this implies is:
If you like your wife, act like it. Even around your friends. Be open and honest about liking your wife, liking spending time with her, and not being resentful of the shared work of building a household. Let your buddies know you can’t hang out with them because you’d rather be home with your wife, whom you like, because she is your legit bff, even though you know your buddies are gonna mock you for it.
Stand up to your buddies. Tell them mocking isn’t cool and you don’t want them to do it anymore. Challenge the other men in your life to be better men.
That is what “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” implies to men who are married. And while it’s all completely reasonable I imagine that it’s scary as fuck when it’s just so much easier to har de har har the little woman’s such a nag, ain’t she, don’t we all hate being married so much? with other men.
In that context, “don’t get married if you think marriage is an evil trap” is kindof a radical statement.
The number of guys I work with who are engaged who started pulling the “uh oh, life over soon, har har” shit that I have completely shut down with a simple “well if you don’t want to get married, then don’t”…*sigh* And they’re just like, hem, haw, welllll if I don’t then she might not stay with meee, which I respond to with “well, sounds like you need to have a pretty serious and honest conversation with your fiancee about your feelings then” and then the *panic!* look…When you remove that easy “hah hah ball-and-chain” narrative, watch the reaction. Some of them (to a female friend) will mumblingly admit that they love their fiancee and are excited to be married. Others…all you get is fear.
That’s the disservice we do men by refusing to teach boys how to explore their emotional needs. It hurts everyone. I watched three male friends walk into marriages I can tell they weren’t ready for and didn’t want, just because it was expected and they had no tools for emotional self-examination. Two of those marriages are (shockingly) in crisis, a couple years later. One has kids involved now. It’s more than a little heartbreaking. The marriages I see that are working? Are the guys with the emotional maturity to talk to their wives and who don’t care if everyone knows they’re in love with them.
SERIOUSLY.
My friend is getting married this summer and when I congratulated her fiance on their engagement he said to me “Yeah well you know, women. This is what they want so you have to bite the bullet.” and my other friend’s husband who was sitting next to him laughed and agreed. If this is how you feel, don’t get married. Don’t propose. Just…. Don’t. Do it. Any of it.
Straight people think that doing things you really don’t want to do – like marriage and having kids – is normal cos they’re still stuck in a fucking 19th century mindset.
It’s why I know my best friend got a good one, he’s open about how much he loves her and he’s excited to be getting married and regularly contributes ideas and has his own input, it’s nice to see
It filters through as well. Even being gay, a lot of my straight friends don’t understand why I spend so much time with my husband. Because I love him? Because I enjoy his company? Because he’s my best friend? I can’t count the amount of straight people that have told me that they think it’s “weird” that my husband and I spend so much quality time together. The only person who understood was my mom, whose response was: “If you love someone and genuinely enjoy their company, why WOULDN’T you want to spend your free time with them?!”
How can anyone look at their impending marriage and think ‘oh no, it’s all over now’ like???? I’ve only felt so close to so many people in my life, but those small few were like?? I’d wake up in the morning excited to be awake just to look forward to SEEING them. I’d catch myself with this stupid idiot grin in broad daylight just THINKING ABOUT BEING AROUND THEM. I’d sleep easy with them in my head, shitty days became perfect once I spoke to them. THAT’s how I imagine feeling again someday. I think about feeling that way for someone again and it’s like the whole future opens up. Marriage is finding your best friend in the whole wide world and wanting to have a sleepover every single day, and to agree to it and then go around groaning like your freedom is being stolen is a HUGE disrespect. If you have the freedom to share your life with anyone you like and you throw it around like baggage you really can’t expect it to grow, can you? You gotta care about yourself a little more than that I think
All of this.
Not to mention this mentality makes it’s way TO THE DAY OF THE WEDDING. How many weddings have we seen with something like this:
Like what kind of toxic mentality do you have to have to say this as the bride is about to walk down the aisle and marry someone who it’s now suggested doesn’t even want to be there?? How is this cute? How is this supposedly charming? This is supposed to be the person you love and want to be with! And not to mention that you send this down the aisle with a small child (the ring bearer or the flower girls)…I have a special loathing for things like this.
Holy shit I didn’t know that was even a thing.
This reminds me of a study I read about years ago with statistics on happiness/stability in relationships of people of various genders/orientations, and straight people were at the very bottom. (And lesbians were at the top! Not a huge surprise, given that women are generally more inclined to communicate and work out emotions and issues.)
I was gonna say something of substance and then I saw those signs and just … dear god, these are the people who think *ME AND MY QUEER FRIENDS* are destroying marriage.
Good god, please remind me of this horseshit on my deathbed so that I can be okay about going.
I saw a cartoon years and years ago that I’ve always loved –the caption was “Happiness is being married to your best friend.” And I remember having a conversation with one of my managers and telling him I loved to hear him talk about his wife – he respected her, admired her, loved her and most of all LIKED her. I got an enthusiastic smile and a ‘yeah, I do.” Love that stuff!
A Jewish man wrote a story about fighting Nazis and you’re all just ‘hmm…nah I don’t think so.’
I don’t know how anyone could’ve watched this movie, see this
And not instantly connect it to Nazism. The coding is there, obvious, plain as day, staring you in the face, in the movie itself, but you’re just ‘let’s fawn over these guys’.
It wasn’t even Abrams. The Galactic Empire and the Sith Empire the preceded it are also extremely unsubtle fascism.
In SWTOR, Dark Side Sith have this thing about blood purity going on.
This has been Star Wars’ thing since it’s inception.
They talk about this in a documentary they made for The History Channel, it’s called “Star Wars: The legacy revealed”.
That’s an extract of the Wikipedia page but the documentary itself is really detailed and interesting, and it explains not only the link to the Nazis but also other links with facism and dictators
“The Legacy Revealed shows many connections between the Nazis and the Empire. Examples shown are that Vader’s own troops, Stormtroopers, share the same name with Hitler’s. The black, white, and red used in many scenes with the Empire are the same colors of the swastika, and that Darth Vader’s helmet is similar to that of the German Army’s.” (wikipedia)
When A New Hope came out, WWII was only 30 years ago. The comparison has always been plain as fucking day
like deadass the star wars villains have been nazis this whole time…how can that go over your head
The foot soldiers are fucking called stormtroopers
the visual symbolism and presentation for the first order alone ~the stark black white and red contrasts, megalomaniac speeches in front of perfectly aligned soldiers and gigantic symbols (come on they´re fucking called STORMTROOPERS), the damn, synchronized hand gesture that´s basically a HItler salute with a closed fist instead of an open palm, the grandstanding, the rolling R´s with which Hux delivers his speech basically spraying spit…I mean COME ON the only way to make this more blatanly a parallel to how Nazi/facsistic tyrants love to present themselves would be a character named Darth Hitler.
and believe me, as a german person, this scene made me absolutely, bone deep uncomfortable with how alike it was to all that old footage of nazi rallys and propaganda and fucking ratface Adolf spewing filth with spittle flying from his mouth that we had to watch over and over and over again in history class and social studies and religion and politics from the first day we set foot into school.
(as does a certain ratfaced, filth spewing racist cheeto in you know where…)
A lesbian couple gets a shocking surprise one day when God (played by Laverne Cox) shows up at their door. Upset at how humans had turned her message of love and acceptance into a message of hate and discrimination, she decides it’s time to send Jesus back to earth and wants the lesbian couple to raise Jesus. Hilarity ensues.
No need for homophobic or transphobic jokes when you can have exchanges like “Ma’am your son turned the water fountain into wine again and got all the other students drunk” “Jesus Christ.” “….. I’m not sure if that’s suppose to be you responding to me or you requesting to speak to him.”
Also jokes about infinity-“Ask your mom”.
Kid: “Mom, can I sleep over at John’s place?”
Mom #1: “Oh, I don’t know, sweetie. Ask your mom.”
Kid: “Mom, can I sleep over at John’s?”
Mom #2: “I don’t know, have you asked your mom already?”
Kid praying: “Mom, can I sleep over at John’s place?”
God: “Have you asked your moms already?”
OH MY GOD YALL ARE KILLING IT
Title: Jesus, Mary & Josephine
FUCKING YES
I kind of don’t care if I’m going to hell. This is hilarious, and I would watch it.
Death By Catchphrase 