Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

between-stars-and-waves:

marzipanandminutiae:

snarkymonkeyprime:

talkingcinemalight:

my-abibliophobia:

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To sum up this book in a single sentence – “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

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Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

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The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

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The story of the Minotaur. 

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NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

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Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

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EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

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How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

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MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

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How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

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CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

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The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

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HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

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And this is how he does it. 

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JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

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A story about Tanuki.

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AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

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SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

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The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

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The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

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NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

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Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

I have this book. I’ve read it about ten times and I love it.

@systlin

This guy has a whole website

It’s called Better Myths, and it is a GIFT

I need this book!

@infernoking @d20-darling @askkakuro @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @windows-operating-system

“Daedalus, who is a fantastic genius inventor with no sense of right and wrong…”

I lost it at that line 😀

thebibliosphere:

gailcarriger:

wholoki221:

icallhergertrude:

cessbrother:

halduron-brightwang:

astrocmets:

vertigo-potato:

for-my-sea-of-lillies:

acrylic–alien:

hazycosmicjive77:

bi-mabel-pines:

waffelsareevil:

daddy-and-his-princess-13:

smalllilkitten:

gingerbooknerdhufflepuff:

flower-whisper:

One of a Kind Life Like Enchanting Lunar Moon Light Lamp! Soft Light to give off the Moonlight Vibe for the surrounding area! Make someone’s Day with with one these Unique Lunar Moon Lamp!

Currently on Sale and if you use the Code: MOON you get an additional Discount!

=> GET IT HERE <=

I WANT THIS

I wish I could have it 😦

i’m fucking crying i NEED

MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP

I NEEEEED this! Adding to my endless Christmas list!

I have one and they are dope!!!

I got one of these over the break and it’s great!

Sis gave me this for Christmas, it’s even more amazing than I thought cuz when you charge it it’s red like a blood moon, when you unplug it just touch a small silver circle, the only part non identical to the moon’s features, and it lights up, you can make it bright white or yellowish with a tap of the finger, hold the tip of your finger on the same spot to make it brighter or darker. And the details must be 3d printed cause when it lights up its a perfect replica of the moon, even the far side, not like the cheap lumpy knock offs at toy stores, this is a real detailed thoughtful peice of art.
Best part, I get to carry the moon around with me to light my path at night, fall asleep reading by moonlight, and guess what…I actually have the moon that people have been fantasizing for centuries about capturing, lassoing, and bringing down to earth as a show of their love.
I finally have the moon!

My mom fucking got me this for christmas. I am shook

my best friend got me this when she visited me irl for the first time and its the best thing ever!

i have one of these and absolutely love it

everything above is true, but the battery also lasts an incredibly long time! i havent charged mine in at least two weeks and despite leaving it on all night the past few nights the battery isnt dead yet.

I got mine!

My manager got one and had it delivered to work and was playing with it all day until he broke it by accident… he was so sad.

i got mine

Ok. But honestly, how would WEREWOLVES react to this?

Either

a) “please turn off your light, it’s giving me a weird feeling I ought to have a tail”

b) Have one in every room, loves them unironically.

c) *madly flicking the switch on and off* HAHA YES FINALLY, THE TABLES HAVE TURNED, HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES