A new trend I hate in ASOIAF fandom: “getting back” at old fics that crapped on Elia by blaming Lyanna and basically saying she deserves to be miserable after the Rebellion if it helps her take “responsibility” for what she did. These same people also tend to shake their fingers at her previous actions and say she was selfish or short-sighted or whatever for helping Howland, blaming Robert for his indiscretions, or fighting as the Knight of the Laughing Tree.
Lemme break it down: the percentage of blame that Lyanna should shoulder for the Rebellion is zero. None. The fact that she had a moral compass doesn’t mean she wasn’t taken for a ride by an INCREDIBLY charismatic, older married man who undoubtedly would have taken and raped her if she didn’t go (even if she perceived that she went) willingly.
Lyanna is not the other woman. Lyanna is not a spoiled brat. Lyanna is a girl probably barely a year or two into puberty who’s internalized the dictates of chivalry and publicly defended a bannerman the only way she knew how. Screw what Aerys was doing, that was incredibly brave. She is a good person. She’s not spoiled or an attention-seeker. It’s not feminist or striking back against racism to say that she is so that Elia can get a positive portrayal in fandom, and if that’s the only way you know how to get that done, then you’re doing it wrong.
She would not have deserved to be blamed for the Rebellion or forced into another marriage that would make her miserable if she’d survived. She was a teenage girl statutory-raped and brutalized through an incredibly violent birth by an older man, and she would have deserved happiness and to be left alone if she were fortunate enough to live.
(And no, Elia doesn’t have to never have a single negative feeling towards her or take her under her wing. That isn’t what I’m saying. Just, you know, have a modicum of human compassion towards a rape victim.)
Death By Catchphrase 