I got two separate requests for this after my tags on this reblog, and if I’ve learned anything from vaguely gossiping about the revolution with 18thC scholars, it’s to Give The People What They Want! Therefore, I am pleased and alarmed to present to you now:
~ * DOs and DON’Ts of GUILLOTINING the RICH * ~
by Monsieur Laurence Racine-de-la-Liberté
DO place blame on the people who directly benefit from your exploitation. It’s not hard to find them. They will try to convince you that it is hard to find them, but you can literally just look at how much money they have (way too much). A really quick method of wealth redistribution is to move in to a rich person’s house.
DON’T leave the rich with no “out”. Your goal is a better world, not a gigantic pile of heads. When cornered, the rich get volatile and dangerous. There needs to be a level of reform which is sufficient for a formerly-rich person to be accepted back into society, and NOT as a second-class citizen. Like, if they stop being rich and start doing chores, you don’t have to also give them the shittiest chores.
DO take meaningful action against those with the power to create change. Sassy tweets accomplish basically nothing. Well-organized voting accomplishes some things. Credible threats to your opponents’ power base (whether that’s throwing roof tiles at them or claiming their houses as your own) accomplish… mostly a shift in the Overton window which makes your opponents suddenly eager to concede to the demands of the “nice” activists, but that’s not nothing.
DON’T guillotine too many people at once. Just because you guillotined five people yesterday, that doesn’t mean guillotining ten today will make you twice as successful. Meaningful action can only be targeted against individuals or systems, not against nebulous social groups; avoid mass guillotining at all costs! Periodically consider whether you may have reached the limit of the number of people who need to be guillotined. Again, your goal is a better society, not an infinite supply of heads.
DO get excited making up cool new names. This is a new world! There’s a lot to be excited about! Rename yourself “Strive with a Will for the Republic” or “Radish”! Be the rad moniker you want to see in the world! Invent new holidays while you’re at it! A new calendar! Declare today Day One Of Year One! A society becomes real through people living its values: embrace your vision enthusiastically.
DON’T get excited about cool new conspiracies. The real causes of the world’s problems are not going to be one lady’s diamond necklace. They’re going to be way weirder and more complicated than something you can rant about at a party. This very list of advice, for example, is full of pithy quips which are too brief and simplistic to be remotely useful. Spend five minutes fact-checking any headline that gives you a strong burst of feeling before you tell someone else about it.
DO acknowledge the validity of your complaints. This rule operates on two levels: first, the aristocrats’ shit is bad. They’re going to pretend it’s not, but don’t buy it. Second, sometimes your shit might be bad. If you’ve been trying out something new for a while, but people still can’t afford to wear pants, you have to be able to say that the new system isn’t working either, and leave room to change your mind about what to do. (See also: leave the rich with an “out”; don’t guillotine too many people at once.) If honesty is not the best policy, only liars and scoundrels will have heads.
And the number one rule from the French Revolution:
DON’T make decisions while hangry!
I know, I know: there’s no fucking bread and air conditioning hasn’t been invented yet, and you’ve been drinking a lot of coffee at the revolutionary clubs. But it is totally impossible to judge whether your response in a conflict is “proportional” or “helpful” when you’re hot, caffeinated, and hangry. Have some ice cream. Take a cool shower. (Remind the rich that it is in their best interest to provide you with ice cream and a cool shower, in the short and long term, since you are the one with the guillotine.) Maybe try describing your course of action out loud to a neutral party before you do it. If someone starts asking logistical questions about mass graves, take a step back and have a snickers. Humans are bodies, and the default setting for a body is for it to have food in its stomach and a head on its neck.
I was actually worried for a bit when my SO and I started dating, because you’re almost trained to think the left side is gonna happen. And then the right side happens and you’re just like
This level of happy.
That’s the most adorable thing in the world
Wait these “imagined vs. real life” t hings are supposed to be all cynical about real life being depressing and boring compared to the imagination/expectation
how dare this cartoonist actually be… uplifting and positive
I’d reblog just for that gif, but yeah, real life can be awesome like that.
One of the hardest things about autism for me is having to explain the fact that I find “hard” stuff easy and “easy” stuff hard.
“This task is going to take you several hours and be very difficult” means I’m done in one hour and am now wondering if I missed something.
“This task should take you five minutes, so don’t worry about it” means it takes me a month and I only managed to get it done after taking a bunch of beta-blockers and building an intricate framework from which to approach the task.
They’re anxiety meds. They don’t really help with executive dysfunction, but they make it harder for me to have meltdowns, so I can tackle my executive dysfunction without getting as stressed.
I was taught that beta blockers are typically given for high blood pressure or asthma…interesting. I know that some alpha blockers can help with depression.
Yeah, it helps with anxiety through helping with high blood pressure and stuff. It stops the panic response from getting from your brain to your body, stopping anxiety attacks and other physical symptoms of anxiety, which for me reduces meltdowns. And it makes the panic I experience when trying to deal with executive dysfunction less horrible.
It’s interesting that you said asthma, though. All the people I know who are asthmatic have been refused beta blockers for anxiety based on their asthma.
Oh fuck, I meant beta AGONISTS for asthma. Jesus Christ, me. *facepalm*
i read the sentence “abusers groom their character witnesses as carefully as they groom their victims” (in a comment thread in response to a “but i know [the accused] and hes such a nice man!!”) and it’s blowing my mind a weird amount even though i guess i already knew that
One of the hardest things about autism for me is having to explain the fact that I find “hard” stuff easy and “easy” stuff hard.
“This task is going to take you several hours and be very difficult” means I’m done in one hour and am now wondering if I missed something.
“This task should take you five minutes, so don’t worry about it” means it takes me a month and I only managed to get it done after taking a bunch of beta-blockers and building an intricate framework from which to approach the task.
They’re anxiety meds. They don’t really help with executive dysfunction, but they make it harder for me to have meltdowns, so I can tackle my executive dysfunction without getting as stressed.
I was taught that beta blockers are typically given for high blood pressure or asthma…interesting. I know that some alpha blockers can help with depression.
we need to stop forcing girls to wear makeup and lose weight and shave every day!! and i say GIRLS and not women for a reason because there are literal twelve year old girls (and younger) who are spending hundreds of dollars on makeup and taking an hour every day to make it look perfect! there are literal twelve year olds who already think their body hair is gross and needs to be shaved off! there are literal twelve year olds who are skipping meals and going on diets because they’re convinced the perfectly normal fat they have is unhealthy and ugly!!! there are girls who are growing up with the idea that their bodies will never be enough without relentless, expensive, and tiring modification, and that they’re just lazy and “”“unladylike”“” if they don’t meet every single one of society’s beauty standards!!! do you SEE how fucked up this is ????
Death By Catchphrase 